


past and present (they don’t matter)

by plinys



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Groundhog Day, M/M, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 17:45:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3618660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy's stuck reliving the day of Harry's death over and over again, and keeps trying to change the world just so that one man can live. Without much success.</p>
            </blockquote>





	past and present (they don’t matter)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I saw [this](http://deftmegalodon.tumblr.com/post/114630363128/but-what-about-a-groundhog-day-au-with-eggsy) post on tumblr right as I was getting ready for bed, and I shot the poster an ask being like 'would it be okay if i wrote this' except then I got a tiny bit ahead of myself and started writing bits in case they said yes. Well, five hours later I haven't slept but I wrote a fic, so I'm posting it now and I hope I'm not stepping on anybody's toes, but this idea was just too powerful to leave my head, and I kind of had to fill it. 
> 
> Also I was really tossed up on tagging "major character death" for this one, because a groundhog day au means that people time, but due to the time travel it never really lasts, so I ended up opting not to tag it as such. If people have strong opinions that I should change that though let me know.

1

He saved the world.

That was it.

The End.

Credits roll.

World saved.

End of story.

But this was never that kind of movie, was it?

 

2

“You’re having a bad dream, Eggsy, shit, wake up-”

There are hands holding him down when he wakes up, and for a second he can’t figure out where he was, the last time he fell asleep was on the plane back from Valentine’s base, Merlin had said it was fine to rest for a moment and-

They must have moved him to one of the rooms at HQ, except that doesn’t seem right, because he recognizes the patch of ceiling he can see right above Roxy’s head.

In fact, he would recognize it anywhere.

Seeing as he became rather well acquainted with in during his first night at Kingsman HQ.

“Why am back in the bloody training bunks?”

At his words, her face goes through a series of confused emotions before settling into a questioning one, “should you be somewhere else?”

“On a plane, or probably in fucking medical, you know how anal Merlin is about _fucking_ medical,” Eggsy says.

“I do know that, but Eggsy you’re fine, unless you got some unexplained injury last night while you were with Galahad?”

“Seriously, Roxy, stop fucking with me-“

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” she says, and she seems almost sincere, “though maybe you should be in medical. You know, if you go mad and they give me Lancelot because you’ve snapped, I’ll never forgive you for making it so easy.”

“For fuck’s sake-“

“Okay, you need to calm down,” her hand pushes him back down into the bed, and the worried expression is back, “look you’ve had a bad dream, but just take a second to breathe and-“

“A dream, you’re telling me this is all a dream that none of _that_ really happened?”

“Seeing as I don’t know that _that_ is, probably not.”

A dream.

Right, that made sense.

Except if it was a dream then why did it feel so real.

Why did it feel like he was living his life over again, as he took the offered gun from Arthur and failed to take the shot?

Why did he know in the pit of his gut that when Harry said, “I’ll sort this out when I get back,” that he would never actually make it back?

Why did it feel so easy this time around, shooting like it was second nature in an underground lair straight out of some trashy Bond movie, while the world kept trying to end?

“You should get some rest,” Merlin says, once it’s all done, “after your stint with the princess I’m sure you’re tired-“

“I’m not some fucking old geezer,” he snaps back, but he curls up against one of the chairs anyways.

“I’ll wake you once we’re back at HQ.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

 

3

See here’s the thing, he’s seen _Groundhog Day,_ and a bunch of other movies about time travel, but the people in those movies always make it seem so easy, like you just know you’re time traveling.

Those movies are made by fucking liars, who’ve never actually time traveled in their lives.

It takes him until round two to actually figure out that he’s doing the whole time travel thing.

At least this time he knows he’s not living the fucking _Wizard of Oz_.

That’s a very minor relief.

“I’m not dreaming,” he says, a bit too roughly brushing Roxy’s concerned hand away and sitting up at once.

“Well obviously not, I woke you up,” she says, moving out of his way but making a face that is clear disapproval, “Eggsy. what’s gotten into you.”

“I’m not entirely sure,” he admits, laughing at his own joke as he quickly changes, “but I’ve got something I need to do, Roxy, and you’ll have to forgive me for skipping out the rest of day.”

The only problem is normally in these sorts of movies the people usually know what they’re supposed to do, and really as far as he’s concerned saving the world was the main point here, so he’s jumped that hurdle successfully.

Which means he needs to fix the one thing that went wrong – _he needs to save Harry Hart_.

“Where the bloody hell do you think you’re going?”

There’s no time to explain, or he supposes there probably is, seeing as he’s time traveling or whatever, but if he’s right about this there’s a good chance she might not remember this the next time he wakes up.

If he’s wrong well, he can explain after.

If he’s not, then why waste the seconds.

“You’re going to make a great Lancelot, Roxy,” Eggsy tells her, spinning back around quickly to give her a wink, “but before that, I need to save the world.”

“Oh and how do you expect to do that?”

“About the same way I did the last two times, except this time Harry’s not going to die.”

That plan doesn’t go off nearly as well, because the second thing he remembers from those movies is that telling people about what’s going to happen to them isn’t always a fool proof plan. And standing in front of Harry, still in his training clothing, he wants nothing more than to tell Harry everything to say _“I’ve watched you die once and I’m not ready to do it again_.”

But he remains silent, let’s the tirade rain down on him even though it’s so fucking unfair that he wants to scream.

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve humiliated me by giving up? No, of course, you don’t,” it’s unfairly bitter, and he wishes Harry could understand, if only to make their last moments together better this time, not tainted by Harry’s disappointment in him.

“I do, you have no idea how much I understand, I-“

“I should have left you in that jail,” Harry says, and Eggsy knows he’s just lashing out but it feels like a slap to the face.

Hearing those words are almost worse than remembering that he has to live through the end of the world again.

“I’m not giving up, look you’ve got to understand it’s more complicated than that.”

“More complicated,” he repeats, with a look that’s still annoyed and clearly disbelieving, “well, why don’t you enlighten me then?”

“I can’t, I wish I could,” Eggsy manages through tight lips, “but trust me, I’ll sort this out, just give me a fucking second to remember how we-“

He doesn’t get to finish the sentence because Merlin’s pining Harry and no that can’t be right, it’s too soon for them to have got something on Valentine.

“ _I’ll_ sort this out when I get back,” Harry says, “you just stay here until then and don’t make anything worse.”

“But you’re not going to come back,” he says, the words coming too late, after Harry’s already gone the door slamming shut behind him.

This time he doesn’t watch the video, he doesn’t bother trying to save the world.

He curls up on Harry’s uncomfortable couch and steadies his breathing until he falls asleep.

 

4

Since obviously just trying to get Harry to stay isn’t going to be enough he tries to do the whole thing right.

He plays along.

He says, “just a bad dream, Roxy, sorry for waking you.”

He pretends to be surprised when Merlin says that Arthur wants a word with him.

He shoots the dog, even though he hates himself for it, and breathes out a sigh of relief when it comes up with a blank.

And then, that’s it/

“Congratulations, Lancelot.”

It’s different this time, because Harry’s proud of him, Harry’s smiling at him and it all still feels like a bit of a dream.

But there’s something there, in the way Harry says, “good job,” and “I always knew you had it in you,” which is so very different from the last few times they’ve talked – the last few times that he’s lived this day – that he finds himself living in the moment, living in a reality where things played out properly.

So if he acts on impulse than who can really blame him? There’s a chance this all might go tits up anyways, and it won’t matter.

Though for now, as he presses up on his toes and pulls Harry towards him for a kiss that seems like the most dangerous thing he’s done in _days_ , it’s so completely worth it.

Especially because a second later Harry’s kissing him back and it’s better than anything he’s ever thought to imagine.

If he could live in that moment for the rest of eternity, this cycle wouldn’t be quite so bad, but things never work out the easy way.

It’s not that kind of movie, after all.

Because Harry still leaves, promising, “we’ll finish this when I get back,” his hand tight against Eggsy’s hip, rubbing small circles into the skin which could almost be a promise for more, if he didn’t know any better.

“Take me with you,” Eggsy insists, because if he can’t get Harry to stay then maybe he could go with, and find a way to stop this from that end.

That gets him a laugh in return, a cheerful one that he’ll try to cherish as the world is ending this time, “somebody’s eager.”

“I’m as much a Kingsman as you are now, ain’t I?”

“So it would seem,” he agrees, “but there will be plenty of other missions for you to get your feet wet with, let me finish this one, and next time I’ll let you tag along.”

“And what if there’s not a next time?”

“Have a bit more faith in my, why don’t you?”

He wants to say that it’s not about faith, but Harry’s out the door, and that’s the end of that.

If he thought it was bad watching Harry die the first time around, it was nothing compared to watching him die when Eggsy knew how close he had been to stopping it.

The rest of the world can go fuck itself, he’s here for Harry Hart or for no one.

He curls up on a bed that smells like Harry and falls asleep knowing full well that the cycle will just begin again.

 

5

He wakes up, again, as expected.

“Fuck off, Roxy.”

“You were having a bad dream, I was worried that-“

“I said, fuck off.”

“You can’t just stay in bed all day, Merlin has more exercises for us and-“

“You’re going to shoot the dog, Harry’s going to die, the world’s going to end or not end depending on whether I get off on his cot,” he cuts her off, “and none of fucking matters, so please Roxy, go fuck off.”

 

6

“You were having a bad dream.”

“No fucking shit.”

 

7

“You’re just going to lie there, really now?”

“I’m quite comfortable actually, much better than going through all that shite again.”

The faint clicking of her boots against the floor comes sooner than any of the other times, and he’s content to just lay there for a few hours until he can sleep and reset the cycle, but the sound of footsteps comes again far too soon and heavier this time.

And this them when he’s rolled over (against his own will) it’s to look up at Merlin’s stern and displeased face, “get up.”

“No fucking thanks.”

“That’s an order, Eggsy.”

“That right? Just like you’re going to order us to shoot our fucking dogs? That’s animal cruelty, you know that, I don’t give a fuck if the things are filled with blanks its-“

“How do you know about that?”

The look of honest concern on the other man’s face is the only thing that stops his tirade, “it’s a long story, bruv.”

“Well, let’s start at the beginning then.”

He should say no, every cardinal rule of time travel says that he ought to say no. That he should keep his lips shut and keep playing along, but he already tried to do things right, and neither of those times had worked out particular well.

So he tells Merlin everything, everything that he can remember.

Well almost everything.

He leaves out the bit where he and Harry snogged like teenagers, but that sort of information was really more on a need to know basis anyways.

It’s silly, how he has this idea that Merlin knowing the truth will change things – that somehow now they’ll be able to save the world and save Harry.

Instead everything happens so fast, too fast.

Watching Merlin die is different than watching Harry die.

Partially because he doesn’t feel the same way about his instructor as he does for Harry.

Also partially because Merlin gets shot two feet away from him and not hundreds of miles away, the blood splattering onto his boots.

Though it mostly has something to do with the fact that he gets shot ten seconds later.

He’s always wondered what dying felt like.

 

8

It should be known that dying hurts like a bitch.

Waking up from dying, also not nearly as cool as the movies would make it out to be.

He spends his first five minutes of the next ‘day’ pressing his hands to his chest and just trying to remember that he can breathe this time, that there’s no gunshot wound leading him bleeding out.

Doing his best to deliberately ignore Roxy’s worried gaze.

“Bad dream?”

“You have no fucking idea.”

 

9

After that he starts being reckless, because if nothing’s going to work and he’s stuck here then he might as well make the most of it.

The first thing he does, is shoot Arthur, or well – try to shoot Arthur.

A voice that sounds vaguely like Harry’s reminds him, “it’s filled with blanks,” a second too late, because he’s already brought the gun up to Arthur’s head and pulled the trigger.

It’s sort of ironic having the literal traitor label him as one.

At least, they lock him up instead of gunning him down again.

He falls asleep in a dark cell.

 

10

He kisses Harry, again.

It doesn’t change anything.

At least, this time he watches feed, because apparently he’s a fucking masochist.

 

11

He steals a plane and tries to fly to Kentucky himself, before he remember he doesn’t know how to pilot a plane.

They really should have taught that during the training.

Plane crashes hurt like hell.

 

12

“You’re not allowed to go, you’re not allowed to leave me, because you’re doing to die.”

“I assure you, Eggsy, I am more that capable of-”

“The fuck you are.”

 

13

Watching Roxy die doesn’t hurt as much as watching Harry die.

Though it does hurt more than watching Merlin die.

He files that information away for the off chance of ever getting out of this loop, at least he now knows who it would be easier to step in front of a bullet for.

When they turn to shoot him too he welcomes it.

 

14

He loses count somewhere around then, blinks his eyes open and listens to the usual alarm over his bad dream, goes through the motions, because that’s what they are motions.

No matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries he can’t change things.

Harry dies, the world nearly ends.

That’s how this story goes.

At this point he’s willing to just let the story play out.

  

17

He leaves the taxi and walks to the pub, this way there’s no Harry to intervene as he lets Dean beat him near to death.

Foolishly thinking that maybe without him interfering Harry will stay alive this time.

It doesn’t matter, he hits the ground and blacks out.

 

 18

“Not again, fuck.”

 

 25

“Eggsy, you’re scaring me a bit there.”

“At least, we ain’t dead yet.”

“What do you mean, yet?”

“Would you believe me if I told you I’m a time traveler stuck reliving the same day over and over again.”

“Like that episode of Supernatural?”

“Of what?”

“It’s an American show-”

“You like American shows?”

“Can we focus on the point where you’re apparently time traveling, not my television preferences?”

“Right, fuck, well, Roxy, prepare for the story of your fucking life. _Literally_.”

 

28

“You just punched Arthur in the face!”

“Well, he’s working for Valentine so he fucking deserved it!”

 

34

This time he’s not letting it go up for debate, he’s going with Harry.

He knows what plane they’re taking, knows when the calls going to be, because this isn’t his first rodeo.

He hides out in the baggage area, makes it safely to the church and ignores Harry’s disapproving gaze.

It’s not like he had forgotten what happened next, not really.

Doesn’t mean he was prepared for the way his body moved against his own control wanting nothing more than to hurt everyone around him.

Nor was he prepared for the way Harry turned then to look at him, the pure anger in his eyes, before shooting him down.

 

35

The first thing he does after waking up is throw up.

“I’m taking you to medical.”

“No don’t, I’m fine, just a bad dream.”

“Must have been a bloody awful one.”

“The worst fucking nightmare imaginable.”

 

36

“Eggsy, look at me.”

“I can’t, just give me a few more days to forget, alright?”

“Forget about what?”

His throat is unbearable dry, but he does drag his gaze up to meet Harry’s, remembering the last time he’d done so nearly makes him sick again.

“Nothing, Harry, it’s nothing.”

 

42

“I’ll sort this out when I get back.”

 

47

“Mum, I love you, you know that, yeah?”

 

51

“I’ll tie you up, Harry, I swear to god, I’ll tie you to this fucking chair, so you can’t go fuck everything up in Kentucky.”

“What do you mean by ‘fuck everything up’?”

“I mean-” he starts then stops at the sound of a gun clicking, “I’m not a bloody traitor Harry, I’m not I swear.”

“It’s set to stun,” Harry replies, as though that makes any difference.

 

52

“Good morning, Roxy, terrible dreams, the usual.”

 

59

“Bloody, fucking, shit, fuck, no no no, fuck.”

 

66

“I can’t believe you shot your dog.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Eggsy.”

“Just give it like thirty minutes.”

 

69

“You should fuck me, before you go- I know you want to and- god, Harry you have no idea how badly I want to too.”

“Eggsy, I-”

“You don’t have to lie,” he says, stepping forward and kissing him like he has so many times before, even though in this timeline it’s the first time.

Harry responds as he always has before, so eager and clearly wanting this.

Why they had never managed this before is beyond him, because they clearly should have been doing this for months.

“Please,” Eggsy nearly begs.

“There will be time for that when I get back, I promise.”

 

74

“This is either the biggest mistake of my life, or the best.”

“I figure we’re fucked either way, so what does it matter?”

 

85

“I’d rather be with Harry.”

 

91

“Hey Harry, if this was your last day on earth what would you do?”

“I’ve lived every day as though it was my last for far too long.”

“Yeah, that ever fucking work out right?”

“Not in my experience.”

 

95

“Eggsy, don’t you die on me now-”

“We’re doing this backwards Harry, I’m supposed to be the one that-”

“Stop talking,” he says, voice somehow gentle and stern at the same time.

Eggsy’s died before, or well whatever _dying_ in this loop was technically considered, but never before had Harry been there to witness the events.

He’s not sure if this makes it better or worse.

“Why would you do this Eggsy? You’re reckless, yes, but never like this.”

“It’s fuck- fucking complicated, I’ll tell you about it when I wake up, I promise this time.”

“Do not close your eyes,” Harry commands, and he wishes he could listen one last time, but it’s too late for that, and he’s done this enough times to know when he just needs to give in to the blackness.

 

96

It’s weird, how he’s made it this far without ever telling Harry.

He’s told Merlin.

He’s told Roxy.

But never before has he stood in front of Harry and said, “I failed the test on purpose, because I’m supposed to and then you’re going to get mad at me, tell me the gun was filled with blanks and Amelia didn’t actually die during the water trail. We’re going to fight and you’re going to leave saying that you’ll sort this out later because-”

There’s a ping from Harry’s glasses that cut him off.

“Because that’s Merlin calling to tell you that Valentine is heading to that church in Kentucky. He’s going to activate a device there, it’s a test of sorts, makes people go bloody mad and kill each other, and you’re going to be stuck there,” Eggsy continues, shuttering at the memory that’s always too fresh in the front of his mind, “then you’re going to die.”

He doesn’t expect Harry to believe him, not really.

But the thing is, he does, “how are you so sure about this?”

“Because this is probably the hundredth fucking time I’ve lived this day,” Eggsy explains, “I’m not sure how, it’s a time loop, there’s magic or something, fuck if I know. I’m not a fucking wizard, maybe ask Merlin when it’s all over. I just know, if you leave you’re going to die and not be here to help me save the world.”

“You’re sure about this?”

“A hundred fucking percent, Harry.”

He nods a second later, fingers pressed up to his glasses and says, “Merlin, you’re not going to believe this, and I barely do, but Eggsy here is going to tell you everything he knows about Valentine’s plans, and you’ll pass this off to the right people, yes?”

Eggsy can’t hear the response, but it must be a positive one, because a second later Harry’s eyes are on him again, saying, “go ahead, Eggsy.”

He tells him everything he knows, about the SIM cards, about the underground lair, and that’s it.  

He’s done it.

The whole thing seems a lot easier than it should be, a weight off his chest that still leaves a sense of apprehension in his bones.

He’s saved Harry.

At least, by the count on his clock, they’ve missed the window of Harry’s death.

They’re done.

End of Story.

Roll the credits.

Because he’s saved the day.

Or no, not really.

See that’s the thing, the world’s still ending, because that’s part of this story and he’s not sure how he’s forgotten about that, but with Harry alive there’s no way to kill Arthur, and that means there’s no way to get into Valentine’s hideout.

He’s pretty sure this is the universe’s way of saying that he can’t have both, that either the rest of the world gets to go on like normal or Harry Hart gets to live.

Except if that’s the verdict then why does he have to keep going through this?

Why does he have to relive this day over and over again without ever winning?

Unless he was never supposed to win.

 

97

Somebody has to die, at that church in Kentucky, for the world to be saved.

He knows that now, and if it’s not going to Harry Hart, then it’s going to be him.

This isn’t the first time he’s died.

Not even close.

At least a bullet to the head is the least painful of ways to go.

 

0

“Eggsy- oh thank god, he’s waking up-“

“Lancelot, please step back.”

Waking up is different this time, it’s not so sudden, he’s not panicking. Instead he feels a bit like he’s underwater, trying to swim towards the surface but finding it near unreachable.

“Somebody get Harry-”

Maybe he’s actually dead this time, maybe his mum was right about the whole afterlife thing, and he’s there at this final day of judgement.

Took them long enough.

Making him suffer through the same thing over and over again, it wasn’t fair.

None of this was fair.

“Eggsy, you can pull through this, I know you can-”

He’d know that voice anywhere.

That’s Harry’s voice.

But why would Harry be here, he should be alive, he should’ve saved the world and then-

“Please come back to me, Eggsy, do that for me.”

There’s fingers pressed against his, he can feel them strong and sure, and suddenly the surface seems reachable.

He wakes up gasping for air, eyes wide and scared, but meeting the only pair of eyes that matter in this world or the next.

“Harry.”

“Eggsy.”

“This isn’t a dream, isn’t it?”

“Not last time I checked.”

“You saved the world, yeah?”

“Yes we did.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](http://plinys.co.vu)


End file.
